Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Being TriGreyhoundovich (Nanoseconds Inside the Mind of a Recovering Introvert)

Wonderful. She's going to do a picture with us. She's been so friendly to Superpounce.

Awwwww, she put her arm around Superpounce. Look how special Superpounce feels.

OMG. NO.WAY.

She put her arm around me, too.

What do I do? OMG What do I do?

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

Should I put my arm around her too?

NO.WAY. Only if you want to look like a stalker.

If I don't I'll look stupid and stiff.

But she's Desiree Ficker. OMG

What are you, in high school?????

Basically, YES. And girls like this don't acknowledge my existence.

Dude, you're 40. About time you grew out of that, don't you think?

OK, OK. I will put my arm around . . .

NO. Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent.

Yes, I will.

No.
Yes.

Definitely. No. Yes. No. Yes.

OK, then Yes.

Her hand is on my shoulder. OMG. Where do I put my hand????

Shoulder? Too friendly? Yes. no. yes. no. maybe. crap. I don't know.

No. On her waist.

NO.WAY. It'll look like I'm grabbing her on the . . . um . . . . OMG I just looked at her . . . um . . .**cough**


OK, higher than waist, lower than shoulder.

In between.

NO!!! Not THAT in between.

OMG, she's really skinny. I can totally feel her ribs.

SHAKE YOURSELF. FOCUS!!

What do I do with my face? I look goofy when I smile.

Show teeth? OMG, creepy internet groupie man with the toothy smile.

He seemed so quiet. We never knew.

More subtle. Gentle smile. Yes. Calm, sophisticated . . . . controlled . . .

**breathe**

What is that person doing with my camera.

Didn't flash. Is this going to work?

**SNAP**

Greyhounds with Des

This cannot end well.

15 comments:

Nytro said...

possibly the best post you've ever written.

EVER.

no... seriously. that post? puts you right up there with dooce, in my book. RIGHT. UP. THERE.

Bolder said...

LMAO!

yah, dude... it ended well... i'm sure she's gonna use that shot in her promos on her website:

under RABID STALKERISH FANS.

Pounce knew how to rock it... love that Breckenridge, CO hoodie!!!

Pharmie said...

Too funny! No worries. I'm sure she's had much creepier internet groupies take photos with her :)

Triteacher said...

You did the right thing! Funny how in those moments, your life - from high schooler to 40 year old - flashes in front of your eyes.

21stCenturyMom said...

OMG!!! I'm wiping tears from my eyes. You should let us inside your head more often - or not.

TxSkatemom said...

I love that SuperPounce is oblivious to the fact that her dad is groping a world-class athlete a mere millimeters from her head...

You win, dude. I don't know what you win, but You. Definitely. Win.

Donald said...

Hilarious. But couldn't you have smiled just a little bit?

Laufenweg said...

how cute! we're are still just kids inside, aren't we?

wonderful post. no one would have ever known you were freaking out by the photo alone. ha

Taconite Boy said...

thanks...just spewed coffee on keyboard.

funny

Allez said...

hilarious!

Iron Pol said...

I'm glad I finished my orange juice, earlier. Because cleaning OJ out of a keyboard isn't fun.

I'm not sure what's more amazing. The entire string of thoughts that went through your head in the fraction of a second it takes for a flash to go, or that your remembered it.

Now, we just need to see what was going through Superpounce's mind...

"Wow, this is so cool. I'm going to be just as tall as Desiree, and faster. I know I have a head start because my dad's going to be an Ironman. He's doing the same race she did, and I'm going to learn everything. Plus, I'm hanging out with a famour athlete. That's got to count for something. After I retire from being a famous skater girl, I'm going to totally rock the triathlon scene."

Isn't it cool that her idea of famous and cool is an uber-athlete, instead of some drugged out rocker. You rock as a parent, dude.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

Hahahahaha! I'm cryin' with laughter over here! My keyboard will never be the same again.

OK - I wish all guys could be this honest about their internal dialogue - it would seriously help a girl out with understanding what's in there.

Fe-lady said...

This was precious- I was smiling and giggling until I scrolled down and saw that you weren't... :-(
can you ask for a "do-over"?
Will she be there today or tomorrow!?

Lance Notstrong said...

Don't feel bad. Who wouldn't be nervous around Desiree Ficker? :-)

Wendy said...

Brilliantly recapped, Greyhound!