Friday, August 31, 2007

I AM NOT A NUMBER!!

Ok, so maybe I am a number. Ironman Wisconsin numbers are up, and I'm number 1257, Greyhound, from Spring, Texas.

But notwithstanding the number, I've spen the last 24 hours wondering whether I'm a hardass or a wuss. I took Carmen to the LBS for Tri Bike Transport, but had trouble getting the pedals to loosen and come off. So, the girl at the bike shop took them off for me.

a.girl.

She had a tatoo, and undoubtedly was a rockin' biker chick, but she was still a girl.

Then, I had to change a flat this morning. (Long story). I couldn't get the lug nuts to loosen, and I wasn't about to rupture myself or shred my back changing a tire about 8 days from Ironman. So I asked for help.

The big beefy building guys also couldn't move the lug nuts with my tire tool. They had to get this huge tool to get them loosened. My tool was inadequate.

I guess size does matter. :(

But after they were loosened, the three enginees stood around and watched me change the tire. Something tells me if I had boobs, hips, and wore a skirt, I would not have been changing my own tire. One guy would have changed the tire while the others stood around oggling.

But apparently my a$$ is hard. Mistress Arlene, massage therapist to the stars, had to make a housecall last night, and she found it necessary to spend a lot . . . I mean A.LOT. of time on two very ripped masses of muscle.

Owie.

The draping became somewhat of an afterthought. I think Arlene is now almost as familiar with my untanned landscape as Mrs. Greyhound.

Almost. But not quite.

So I've got that going for me, which is good.

14 comments:

Tri-Dummy said...

Size does matter and I'm guessing your crank is at least 165mm.

That's something to be proud of, Ken Doll.

Brent Buckner said...

You *are* a free man.

Amy said...

size does matter... bigger the boobs the better the service at the bike shop. But then again, the smaller the shirt and skirt the better the service.

Phoenix said...

You're massage therapist does housecalls? You are one lucky pup.

And I'm sure you totally loosened the pedals for Tattoo Girl. And those dudes probably didn't help because they could tell you were a total badass and didn't want to be embarrassed.

Nytro said...

yea... if they do housecalls, i don't think you can call them massage therapists.

i will be waiting by the phone for your apology re: the "a.girl" comment.

Flatman said...

just stopping in to say good luck, maynard...

tri-mama said...

It's just the size of your heart that counts- you got it covered in spades. See you Weds.

stronger said...

Something tells me that if you had boobs, hips and a skirt- you'd have bigger problems than a flat tire.

Bigun said...

I'd rather not imagine you with boobs...most likely you wouldn't be getting at-home massages if you did....unless she's one of "those" kinds of friends of Mrs. Greyhound.

pinkgurugal said...

you said nuts...
see you in wisconsin. i am having bike withdrawels too.. tri bike transport took my baby today :(

GeekGirl said...

Actually, what I find happens is that three men stand around arguing about the best way to change the tire. If there's women present, they just change it. ZING!

TriShannon said...

A number, parting with the bike... ahhh, it is coming too fast!

I drop my bike off tomorrow. Haven't attempted to remove the pedals yet.

a.maria said...

hee hee. a girl.

but you loosened it first, righ?!! ;)

sorry i missed your call fyi.. i've been packing/moving/unpacking ever since so i'm in my own world.

ILL SEE YOU SOON THOUGH!

huzzah!

Steve S. said...

Hey, don't worry - my tool is also inadequate!