I swear I've seen this creature over and over again while in the Land of Mouse, and it's not someone in costume. Walk down Main Street USA, either in the Magic Kingdom or in your town, and you will see this: the archetypal American, so heavy, two or three times what they should weigh if even moderately healthy, unable to walk a normal gait and oftentimes moving around on an electric cart, not because of some illness that destroyed the ability to walk, but from self-inflicted, deadly plenty.
OK, I really did not see Jabba, but the rest of this post is absolutely true. The Disney pre-marathon week involves a discipline somewhat different from that of Boston or Chicago or New York. You've heard of "carbo loading." Well, I feel like I've been LARDO LOADING. At Disney, provided you are willing to wait in line, you can literally eat your way around the world. By all appearances, many of the parks' guests have, and I feel like I've given it the old college try.
Apparently, this psychological trauma all came to a head last night, because something happened that rarely does. I had a dream and I remembered it when I awoke in a cold sweat. You will think I am making this up, but it is the God's Honest Truth.
I dreamed that we started the marathon. I was a little sluggish, but doing OK for the first couple of miles. Then, at mile 2, we pulled off for a food stop.
Not only that, it was a spaghetti buffet in the middle of a marathon in which we all dutifully waited in line. But what is more horrifying?
So, in my dream, I looked at my watch as I exited the food stop at mile 2 and my time was . . . . .
ONE HOUR AND TWENTY NINE MINUTES!
I had this vision that I would make up an hour and a half over the remaining 24 miles, but my legs wouls not turn over! Oh the humanity!
I guess that's what happens when you go to sleep obsessing about not making your time goal and all the food you've been eating and generally hostile to all of humanity that causes you to wait on line to breathe or blink.
The Happiest Place On Earth. Yeah. Not so much.