Friday, January 05, 2007

!!PARENTAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED!!

This post deserves a parental warning, not least because of the new video at right, which comes off my marathon playlist. Even though I am running the Walt Disney World Marathon, there is nothing G-Rated about the way I struggle in the last 6 to 8 miles. I don’t think I can legitimately claim to have experienced speaking in tongues or being slain in the spirit while running, but I am quite positive that I have invented profanities in unknown languages as well as exercised all of the best naughty words in my native tongue.

Did you know that the same four letter words can be strung together as noun, adjective, adverb gerund, subject or predicate with almost no thought or effort? Who knew?

I have heard things like, “mind over matter: if you don’t mind, it don’t matter.” But notwithstanding all my fancy book learning, I am a mental midget with a low tolerance for pain and struggle---which immediately explains why I gravitated toward endurance sport as a middle-aged bespectacled bookworm. It also helps explain my “plan” (if you can call I it that) for this race.

I have gone sub-4 before, and I would have liked to PR, and I have a pace band for just such an occasion, but there are a lot of uncontrollable factors that may prevent it. Unlike an intimate little Ironman race, I’ll be doing this behemoth with 30,000 of my closest friends. The course will be crowded, and hostility at newbie marathoners blocking my path will suck the will to live right out of me if I obsess about the time. Likewise, the weather will be in excess of 80 degrees with humidity by finish time. Moreover, my owie is like a box of chocolates--you never know what you’re going to get when you stand upright in the morning. Let’s see, will today be general achiness or debilitating muscle spasms? (For reasons that will become obvious because of my playlist, and because I choose to believe (against all the objective proof) that a voodoo woman from Utah gave me this injury, my Owie shall heretofore be known as the Beyotch, as in “Crazy Beyotch” or “Cold Hard Beyotch” Don't be offended, I heart the voodoo woman and her Iron hubby.)

So, to wrap my mind around this race, I needed a goal that I can control, no matter what the conditions are. That goal is to run faster and smoother in the last 6 miles, with a good turnover and good form, rather than hobble in like I usually do. If that is a PR, super. If not, still super.

Still, the mental midget needs some assistance. I will have “Greyhound’s Little Helper” packed along in the event of a spinal cord incident, but even more important is the musical narcotic, which is designed with the pace goal in mind. Here again, PARENTAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Headphones are thankfully not prohibited at Disney, but I will not be listening to Mulan, Ariel or any of the other princesses. The marathon playlist begins with happy, optimistic music, mostly major keys, lots of instrumentals, designed to get me going, but control the pace for the first third or so of the race. The middle portion starts to transition more to the face melting variety, more minor keys, more guitars. The final portion will peel paint and shatter glass, and includes repeats of my favorite head banging, face melting music that Superpounce is not allowed to listen to.

Because I’m always fascinated by what other people listen to, I’ll reprint the playlist here so you can see what I mean. Feel free to comment on your favs whether or not they are on my list:

The Mission Begins (Band of Brothers Soundtrack--just as they are taking off for France, heavy on the French Horns!!)

Stars (Switchfoot)

Beethoven Symph No. 7 (Mvt. 1, Chicago Symphony, Solti cond.)

Beethoven Symph. No. 7 (Mvt. 4)

Where the Streets Have No Name (U2)

Citius, Altius, Fortius (Olympic music by John Williams)

Just the Girl (The Click Five)

Stand Up (Trapt)

Zombie Stomp (Ozzie Osbourne)

Going Under (Evanescence)

Man in the Box (Alice in Chains)

Cold Hard Bitch (Jet)

Dance Dance (Fall Out Boy)

Prefontaine Olympic Theme (John Williams again, used in the movie “Without Limits” about the life of Steve Prefontaine)

R30 Overture (Rush, Canada’s best export other than Bolder from Boulder and Kona Shelley)

Inside of You (Hoobastank--Something tells me this song is not about getting to know her mentally)

Crazy Bitch (Buckcherry--[explicit]--you’ll see this again later)

Without a Fight (Hoobastank)

Enter Sandman (Metallica--another recurring theme)

Animals (Nickelback--it’s getting awfully explicit in here)

Closer (Nine Inch Nails--[explicit]--continuing the animal theme)

Hot for Teacher (Van Halen)

Are you Gonna Be My Girl (Jet)

Lonely Nation (Switchfoot)

Pain (Three Day’s Grace--finalist for the Greyhound Theme Song)

Riot (Three Day’s Grace--another finalist--GREAT rebellious lyrics and perfect turnover rhythm)

Slither (Velvet Revolver--gone are the happy songs now)

Evenflow (Pearl Jam)

Paradise City (Guns N’ Roses--so, no more Beethoven, I take it)

Cowboys from Hell (Pantera)

Battle with the Sith (Star Wars Episode I--constant propulsion)

American Idiot (Green Day)

Enter the Champions (More John Williams Olympic Music)

Welcome To Paradise (Green Day)

Panama (Van Halen)

Meant to Live (Switchfoot)

Closer (Nine Inch Nails--the really nasty songs start to come back)

Cold Hard Bitch (Jet--Again)

[FACE MELTING SONG OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN]

Tom Sawyer (Rush)

[FACE MELTING SONG OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN]

Crazy Bitch (Buckcherry--Again)

Enter Sandman (Metallica--Again)

Zombie Stomp (Ozzie--Again)

Riot (3DG--Again)

Pain (3DG--Again)

Closer (NIN--Again)

Riot (3DG--Again)

Slither (Velvet Revolver--Again)

Prefontaine Olympic Theme (John Williams--Again)

Cowboys from Hell (Pantera--Again)

I know, I know. You all thought Greyhound was a gentle, middle-aged father, and I am. But this is not exactly Disney princess music. Hopefully I’ll finish on one of my favorite songs, somewhere between Crazy Bitch and Cowboys from Hell.

!!SEE YOU IN THE MEDICAL TENT!!

17 comments:

nancytoby said...

Uh, you're at Disney. Relax. Have fun. Take pictures with the characters. Run with a smile on your face. Leave your watch back in the hotel room. Enjoy the day!

You can go run a take-no-prisoners PR on some other course. Disney is about having fun.

Sascha said...

Nice! I was just putting together my playlist for Miami. I wasn't going to be quite that scientific though. Just make sure I have at least 5 hours on there (although I pray to god it doesn't take me that long) and press the shuffle button.

I realize it's too late, but for your next high pain endurance event, I suggest you check out Combichrist's This Sh*t Will Fcuk You Up; specifically the title song, This is My Rifle and Lying Sack of Sh*t. Not inspirational, but definitely moving ;)

Flatman said...

Here are my favorites out of your list:

Where the Streets Have No Name (U2)

Just the Girl (The Click Five)

Cold Hard Bitch (Jet)

Dance Dance (Fall Out Boy)

Inside of You (Hoobastank)

Enter Sandman (Metallica)

Closer (Nine Inch Nails)

Paradise City (Guns N’ Roses)

Battle with the Sith (Star Wars Episode I)

Panama (Van Halen)



Don't forget to have fun...singing outloud to some of those songs might do the trick! :)

SkiRough said...

Nice playlist! Did you make sure it is under 4 hours?

Good luck at Disney!

Iron Pol said...

I have a few like Billy Idol (Dancing With Myself), Eminem (Lose Yourself or Without Me), and others for the "energy needed" phase.

Lee Greenwood (Proud to be an American) and Tracy Chapman (Change) are good for boosting the morale.

Oddly enough, though, I've never carried my music in a race. The device I can't do without in training stays home on race day.

Laurie said...

I find it interesting that you repeat a bunch of songs. I think that would mess with my head, but whatever works for you!

Good luck on Sunday!

Pixie said...

I love your list, I repeat Jet over and over on my runs.

Good luck!!!

Brent Buckner said...

Best wishes for a great event on Sunday!

Wendy said...

Best of luck, Greyhound!

TriSaraTops said...

GO, Dogg, Go!

I'm diggin' lots of songs on your list! Pantera's *%^&ing Hostile was on my half mary playlist and came just at the right time. And "Closer," I realized, is the perfect beat for my half mary race pace!

Gotta love the explicit advisory tuneage. Hey, you do what you gotta do.

HAVE FUN!!!!!!!! That's the most important thing, right?

TriSaraTops said...

OOOO. One more thing. The song that you'll hear as you line up in the water for IMW is "Right Here, Right Now" by Fatboy Slim. TriEric told me when he did IMUSA, and I remember hearing it at IMW thinking..."Holy Crap. Here we go."

You want goosebumps? Cuz it still gives me goosebumps and it's January.

TriBoomer said...

Dog,

You and I have a bunch of the same songs on our pump-up list. But I have to call its out... where's the funk? What, no Parliament, Lakeside, Ohio Players, Boostie, or Soul II Soul?? What's the deal-eeo? Dude, we're gonna have to edu-mah-kate ya.

Good luck with the race. Hope you don't need to call on your little friend.

Stay tuned...

Curly Su said...

YOU'RE GOING TO KICK SOME BUTT!!!

(tell Superpounce I love High School Musical--my cousins introduced me to it, and I fell smack into teeny-bopper heaven...)

Nytro said...

just wanted to wish you luck on Sunday. Iron hubby and I will be rooting for you. Granted, I'll be somewhere over Texas when you cross the start-line. and, for the record, if i was trying to mess with you, i'd curse you with hormonal issues that turned you into a woman... much like your little voodoo has turned me into a man... minus the important parts.

have i mentioned how much i hear the mojito's?

Nytro said...

hear=heart... i might have had one too many. who knew?

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

HOW COME BLOGGER KEEPS EATING MY COMMENTS???

Anyway. Like I SAID EARLIER, Prodigy: Smack my bitch up.

Also, there's a couple of gems by the Crystal Method that I consider essential to any racing - one of them incorporates pretty much all the good sweary words and is like musical jet fuel.

but I can't think of them. If you i-tunes it you shall find.

GO GREYHOUND!

21st Century Mom said...

You're taste in music is a tad harder than I would have expected but whatever gets you through those 26.2 miles is goodness.

If you are in the medical tent may it be because you got a pain in your ass (cramped glute) and need to sit on an ice bag and nothing more.

Go GreyHound!