I swear I've seen this creature over and over again while in the Land of Mouse, and it's not someone in costume. Walk down Main Street USA, either in the Magic Kingdom or in your town, and you will see this: the archetypal American, so heavy, two or three times what they should weigh if even moderately healthy, unable to walk a normal gait and oftentimes moving around on an electric cart, not because of some illness that destroyed the ability to walk, but from self-inflicted, deadly plenty. OK, I really did not see Jabba, but the rest of this post is absolutely true. The Disney pre-marathon week involves a discipline somewhat different from that of Boston or Chicago or New York. You've heard of "carbo loading." Well, I feel like I've been LARDO LOADING. At Disney, provided you are willing to wait in line, you can literally eat your way around the world. By all appearances, many of the parks' guests have, and I feel like I've given it the old college try.
Apparently, this psychological trauma all came to a head last night, because something happened that rarely does. I had a dream and I remembered it when I awoke in a cold sweat. You will think I am making this up, but it is the God's Honest Truth.
I dreamed that we started the marathon. I was a little sluggish, but doing OK for the first couple of miles. Then, at mile 2, we pulled off for a food stop.
A.FOOD.STOP.
Not only that, it was a spaghetti buffet in the middle of a marathon in which we all dutifully waited in line. But what is more horrifying?
I
GOT
SECONDS!!!
So, in my dream, I looked at my watch as I exited the food stop at mile 2 and my time was . . . . .
ONE HOUR AND TWENTY NINE MINUTES!
I had this vision that I would make up an hour and a half over the remaining 24 miles, but my legs wouls not turn over! Oh the humanity!
I guess that's what happens when you go to sleep obsessing about not making your time goal and all the food you've been eating and generally hostile to all of humanity that causes you to wait on line to breathe or blink.
The Happiest Place On Earth. Yeah. Not so much.
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12 comments:
HAHAHHAHA! I know exactly how you feel. Very funny!
Hey, my home town is exactly like that too!
Okay Grey, let me play pundit and put a positive spin on this, for you.
Your goal is to negative split the marathon. Let's just say you DO stop early for a little spaghetti fest. Imagine it DOES take 90 minutes to cover the first two miles.
Now, imagine the HUGE negative split you'll have when you crush the remaining 24.2 miles. HUGE! I'd say this dream is an omen to how well you will achieve your pacing and split goals.
Oh yeah, say hello to Tigger for me, if you can.
The start is so crowded that it could take 90 minutes to get to Mile 2! Thank goodness for chip timing!! HAVE FUN!
OMG - I notice the "deadly plenty", too, and I SOOO don't get it.
My dad is in a motorized wheelchair, the result of a stroke after 75 years of "plenty". You know what my parents sent us for Christmas? a giant box of some fancy smoked bacons and such. So the very stuff that put my dad in a wheelchair, they want me to feed to my kids and my husband?
Not a chance. It went straight into the trash. But I think some (maybe "a lot" is more accurate) of people totally don't see themselves as the rest of the world sees them.
It's gross.
Jenny
That is quite a dream. Very funny but so sad at the same time.
I am always shocked when I step out of my bubble into the real world and remember how most people look. It is a sad state of affairs. At least you are not one of them.
I can relate to the eating thing. When I leave home, it's hard for me to maintain any semblance of my normal eating plan. Too many temptations!
lmao!
OK, Greyhound - you got me - You'll Be In My Heart by Phil Collins is the song that I used to listen to while gazing at my newborn, my first-born, my son, my gift from GOD, just weeping and shaking my head in disbelief.
I love that song.
Jenny
Well at least you weren't in school naked ;-) I think i would go a little nutty getting ready for a race at Disney-too much distraction and too little routine. My weight loss cue for people, when you have to bring your foot up to you in order to tie your laces.
ha ha ha!
Kick some butt out there! Some big ol' butt!
I am wiping the tears from my eyes from this post - so funny!
At least you weren't dreaming that your gut was flapping loudly up and down. Now THAT would be a nightmare.
Good luck in your race!
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