Monday, May 01, 2006

Greyhound v. The Head: Open Water Swim Practice

"Wow, look at that first wave go. They look so smooth and effortless."

"Why are you here? You can always just leave."

"Shut up."

"And you--just bought a bike and everything. What a moron."

"I said shut up. I've been training. I swim OK. Everything is going to be fine."

"Look pretty slick there, veet boy."

"We're getting in the water; I need to concentrate now."

"Poser."

"This isn't so bad. Not too cold. I'll just get towards the back and take this easy, maybe swim the course a couple of times."

"You do that. Get back here with the fat guy. He's about your speed."

"I'm not listening."

"Here we go. Get a rhythm. Pretty good. Oops, 'scuse me. Crap someone just knocked my feet. Sorry, just elbowed someone. Why am I catching people?"

"Cause you went out too fast, loser. You can't swim this fast for 500 yards."

"Shh. I'm kind of on course. Correct a little bit."

"You know that first bouy is not getting any closer."

Labored breathing, "rhythm, rhythm"

"You can't do this. Too fast. There's no air. Pick your head up."

"No"

"Pick your head up, you're going to die"

"rotate, rotate, breathe"

"YOU ARE GOING TO DIE"

GASP

"You loser. Flipping on your back and breast stroking like some wussy boy."

"I am going to swim 10 strokes."

"You with your fancy new bike. This isn't even a third of the distance of your olympic distance swim and you're already thinking about waving down a kayak."

"I am going to swim 10 more strokes."

"Go ahead. Get pulled from the water. The kayak is just there."

"10 more strokes."

"You are now at the end of your wave. Go home. Just quit."

"10 more strokes."

"You don't belong here."

"No, you don't belong here. 10 more strokes."

"Maybe you should just leave before M&M sees your pathetic self."

"10 more strokes. No, you were just leaving."

"I'm not leaving."

"10 more strokes. Leave or die."

"But you can't kill me . . . "

"I'm killing you right now. 10 more strokes."

"I'm not dead yet."

"Your death is inevitable. I will it so. 10 more strokes."

6 comments:

christine said...

misery loves company, saturday was not a good day for me either.
hang in there.

TriSaraTops said...

Way to beat your head!!! :) Lake Erie's still too chilly to swim in, but in about a month I'll be having the same conversations, I'm sure!

greyhound said...

I think the war is still ongoing, and the first battle was little more than a draw. I finished without rescue; that's it.

Veeg said...

It's very motivating to hear that someone else's internal dialogue is so similar to my own.

And to me, "finishing without rescue" wouldn't be a "that's it." It would be a WOO-FREAKING-HOO. ;P

Eric said...

Bring out your dead, booonggggg.
Bring out your dead, booonggggg.

Just when your inner doubt starts making a come back, "I'm not dead yet", smack it over the head.

Way to stick it out on the swim.

Habeela said...

Hey! Finishing without rescue means it was a smashing success! And next time will be even better!