In Soviet Russia

The power was out today in the Pennzoil building where my gym is located.

In Amer-r-r-r-reeeKAh, vee must to haff Car-r-r-r-r-rbon footpreent to exercise. Dis iz why vee stand in lobby and looook up at gym on second floor when dair iz no electric powah.

But I t-r-r-r-rain mit Miki, who iz from Serbia and who trained in Soviet Russia.

In Soviet Russia, vee do not need elevators to get to gym. In Soviet Russia, vee take stairz.

In Amer-r-r-r-reeeKAh, gym no work without electr-r-r-r-ricity. Vee must to haff zee bourgeois r-r-r-r-ock musik. Vee must to haff tr-r-r-r-readmills with individual television screens with bourgeois TV r-r-r-r-r-eality shows und zee MTV videos. Where to plug bourgeois headphones if dair is no electr-r-r-r-ricity?

But in Soviet Russia, gym still work without electr-r-r-r-r-ricity. Gravity still work. Kettlebells still work. Free weights still work. Stairs still work.

Gr-r-r-r-reyhound still work.

Clean und snatch.

Squat.

Dead lift.

Bench press.

Russian twist (of course).

No headphones.

Nyet.