Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Can't We All Just Get Along?

So, Coach Kris wanted me to channel my inner Simon Lessing this morning and "go hard or go home." In order to fit in the 90 minute brick before the day job that pays for all this, I prepared all my gear and nutrition the night before, rolled from the rack at 0350, on the road by 0415 so as to arrive at Memorial Park and be wheels down by 0500.

Under normal circumstances, Memorial Park is an easy place to work out, filled with cars driven by regular runners and cyclists who know how to drive courteously and look for runners and cyclists. But when the whether is "non cold," i.e., too F-ING HOT To WORK OUT, the newbies come out in force. Herein, a few modest suggestions in the spirit of "share and share alike."

First, dear-invisible-stealth-mountain-bike-guy-wearing-all-black-and-riding-with-no-lights-no-helmet-and-no-speed at 0515 in the a.m.: I almost hit you on my bike. There's no way the automobiles could see you. When you get ironed out, it will be your fault, and then your default will rub off on me if I ever have an incident: "I didn't see him. He swerved in front of me. He came out of nowhere. He wasn't obeying the law." If you'll wear some lights and a helmet, I'll promise not to be "that guy." You know the one: the holier-than-thou elitist who screams by you on a $10,000 TT bike with race wheels and screams "on your left" before lecturing you about blinky lights and the lore of cycling. Just think "Christmas Tree" or "Highway Emergency Beacon" and you'll start to understand what you ought to look like when riding in the dark.

How 'bout that?


Second, all you internal combustion junkies who were u-turning in front of me and backing into parking spaces on the wrong side of the road in order to avoid walking an extra 30 yards prior to your "workout," how 'bout you just park a little further away, obey the rules of the road, and don't endanger my life in order to serve your personal convenience and laziness of epic proportions. If you do, I'll promise that I won't judge you out loud or get blood all over your fancy car WHEN MY HEAD EXPLODES.


Awesome. Have a great day. Thanks and come again.


the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

I love it when you're cranky. are all lawyers this verbose when they're cranky?

richvans said...

Deep Breaths. Go to your happy place. What's that . . . it's too F-ing hot in your happy place. October is coming. Here that means outdoor riding is over (at least on a TT bike) and you'll just be getting started.

Fe-lady said...

But I bet you had a HELL of a workout...pedal hard!
(And KNOW that you are SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEM!!!) Feel better now?

jtrimom said...

Try to ride loops round memorial park sunday morning- TRAFFIC! I couldn't have said it better myself- so I got a chuckle, thanks :)

CoachLiz said...

Ugh! I am glad I don't ride down there.