Wednesday, May 28, 2008

That's Just Wrong

Well, the Air you can Wear has returned to Houston--humid, rancid, particulate-filled, polluted air that causes your sinuses to clog and your pits to drip and makes a clammy drop of sweat roll constantly down your backbone.

You people who live in places with mild seasons, clean air, and bike lanes where you don't have to die? I. Hate. Everyone.

Yesterday, driving in from the park after my bike ride, I was less than three miles from the central business district, but the buildings were even more obscured than in this picture. That's just wrong. And it inspired this rant about other things that are wrong and should not be tolerated under any circumstances. Add you own in the comments.

  1. Any music mix in the men's locker room that includes Whitney Houston and Josh Groban. Look, it doesn't have to be death metal 24/7 , but come on. Whitney? That's just wrong.
  2. Seen at the Woodlands Athletic Center Pool last weekend: man in his 50s, bald on top with hair around the edges of his head cropped to less than 1/4 inch--but with a thick sweater of long hair all over the rest of his body. That's just wrong.
  3. Real men should not fuss about the hair on their head. That's why it was so fundamentally wrong for John Edwards to spend $400 on a haircut. In my opinion (given the amount of hair I don't have) blow dryers in a men's locker room are out of place. But, blow drying the hair on one's body?!!! Blow drying back hair and nether hair???!!!! That's.Just.WRONG.
  4. Hey, guys--you guys at the neighborhood pool with the 30+ BMI--those tribal tattoos and barbed wire around what used to be a bicep when you were in college? Not a good look for you any more. Either mix in some salads or invest in laser tattoo removal. Otherwise? It's just wrong.
  5. Hey, gals--you gals at the neighborhood pool with the 30+ BMI--that belly button ring that looked so sexy when you were in college? Not.So.Much. Rings in rolls are not sexy. They're just wrong.
OK, I feel a little bit better. But only a little.


Kevin said...

Definitely ALL WRONG! I am just glad the smog hasnt gotten that bad here yet this year in Atlanta

21stCenturyMom said...

Whoa! I have 2 thoughts

1). You are in what Momo refers to as the 'pissed off zone' which is a normal part of IM training. You're a little behind her but you are there.

2). Judge not lest you be judged. I mean - really.

I have some satisfaction that even men think men should wax their body hair (now that women are all supposed to endure wax induced cooter hell) but still - we are who we are, we have what we have, we age. Shit happens.

Nytro said...

i was telling my friend from dallas that I've been biking to work lately and she was all: "what? that's gross!"

i couldn't figure out what was gross about it, so she said: "don't you, like, smell like the outside when you get to work?"

and i said: "um.... i guess? what's bad about that?"

your picture of houston explains A LOT. i think she's forgotten that dallas air is a helluva lot different than ogden air.

Bigun said...

Someone's getting up on the wrong side of the bed! Live and let live! There but by the grace, and all that mumbo-jumbo. Or - like you said....lose some weight, people!

Bigun said...
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Fe-lady said...

I am in the same mood lately...acting "holier than thou" and pissy.
Yeah, maybe it has to do with our IM cycles...I guess men get this too!

Lisa said...

Very valid and good thoughts. I'll try to think of more to contribute. I'm currently irritated because I just got a professional email addressing me and some of my colleagues as "Girls." OK. I'm more than irritated. I'm pissed. Wrong!

GeekGirl said...

Okay, heres mine, and it's RAMPANT in New Mexico: Super large mature women who wear really tight low rise pants, showing off that thong and/or that oh- so-strategic tattoo at the lowest part of their back...c'mon, I'm not a dude and I still know that's just WRONG.

Benson said...

Dang it, I didn't think you'd see me drying my nether hair. Sorry about that but when the blow dryer is there, I can't help but to use it. Try it sometime, you might like it.

Guys who plop their sweaty bare butts on the locker room bench and leave the residue mark for the rest of us. That's just wrong. Wipe it up or better yet, sit on your towel.

BowserTheCat said...

I may have a 30+ BMI and tattoos (for my 50th birthday) but I still have my hair. Har har har (fake maniacal laugh).

On the BMI thing my BMI is like 32 but my body fat is under 20%. Hum...perhaps I'm carrying more muscle (in my head at least) than most... hum...

Tim said...

child abuse
drug abuse

all very wrong

overweight, balding, tattoo clad, pierced, blown dry people ...

by comparison, not such a big deal