Monday, April 13, 2009
I can't swim 10x100m @ 1:55.
I can't. Not possible.
I can't follow that up with 6x 25m @35 and a 500m time trial.
Training Peaks can say it all day long, but it might as well say:
"Remove your own spleen and describe the procedure in the blue book that has been provided for you. You will find rubbing alcohol and a scalpel under your chair."
I tried my hardest. I can't.
I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.
I'm condemned to the ignominy of greater than 2:00 per 100m and a transition area devoid of bikes.
And all you swimmer kids can just STFU with your turning up your noses at a mere 2:00 per 100m. You people who warm up at 2:00 per hundred and swim an Ironman in an hour. PTUI!
I find it startlingly easy to play Chopin nocturnes or Beethoven slow movements on the piano. What's so hard about that? Didn't you take piano from your mummy from the age of 5?
And writing a 50 page brief with a 100 or so citations to authorities in a couple of days? Piece 'o cake. What? You find this complicated?
I guess you mighta' missed something staring at the black line on the bottom of the pool.
But I WANNA SWIM!~ WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And enough with the "technique technique technique"
I TOOK lessons from Total Immersion. I glide. I float fine. I drill. But apparently I'M JUST FREAKIN' SLOW.
And I'm getting slower
And I gained a pound
And I fell asleep at my desk like an octegenarian
And I want to be 6'4" and look like Tom Selleck.