Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Memo

To: Very Large Man
From: Greyhound
Date: February 27, 2007
Subject: Daily Nekkid Weigh In

Until you notice a visual change in the man breasts, belly and back folds, you weigh approximately the same as you did yesterday when you weighed yourself, and the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that, etc. etc. etc. Visual change will occur when you begin to use the equipment in our fine facility, and in all probability not before.

If, however, a daily weigh in must be performed, please note that the towel does not add that much weight if it remains in place rather than being removed. Likely not as much as the chains around your neck, which (I note) always remain in place.

Beyond being unnecessary, the current practice is a rather traumatic visual and something I would prefer not to see

. . . while I am brushing my teeth.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

GH

13 comments:

Iron Pol said...

Need we add that daily changes are more likely due to fluctuations in water weight than significant weight loss.

Once every several days should suffice for trend analysis.

And if the weight is measured in the same attire (towel and chains) each time, any change is all you. Change, after all, is more important than total, if weight loss is the game.

Of course, shame on Greyhound for even thinking to suggest people show some consideration. Good Lord, man!

Bolder said...

this was actually probably more of an after breakfast post, rather than say DURING!

where's Trimama!

PENALTY BOX!!!

stronger said...

I think you could tape this post to the wall by the scale...and run!

Shelley said...

I never weigh myself..I see women in my change room doing this day after day...give me a break...oh well. I guess some people have to live by a "number"...:-))

21stCenturyMom said...

Carrie scooped me. Append your post and IronPols response and tape it up!

Now to make you jealous. The parallel behavior in the women's locker room is the ladies with the hot bodies prancing around naked forever. They blow dry their hair, put on their facial stuff, bend over and do a mini-pedicure, and just sort of walk around for a while - sans towel. I always wonder if I'm supposed to applaud or something.

greyhound said...

21st Century Mom? You say that like it's a bad thing.

Oh, did I say that out loud? What I meant to say is that I'm horrified and that is very very wrong indeed for hawt women to walk around naked.

Are there pillow fights, too? No, I did not say that.

Taconite Boy said...

Would it also be possible for said person who's cousin also works out at my gym to not shave, brush teeth, check profile view in mirror....NAKED-IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR-NEAR WHERE I'M CHANGING!!!

thank you.

TriJack said...

amen brother...

Nytro said...

first things first... was there a hemroid involved in the weigh-in?

Iron Benny said...

I've got one that's worse. There is this guy at the gym that I see every morning who just has to dry off in front of the mirror. Not only that, but he props one leg up on the vanity. I won't explain in detail what this results in, but suffice it to say that this old mans junk is dangling earily close to where I'm supposed to brush my teeth. Did I mention that there is water dripping from this man? Yea, D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G! As for breakfast, I'll take my oatmeal without raisins and my eggs without sausage thank you very much.

Danielle said...

Okay I am glad my gym is overpopulated with college girls who apparently never take their clothes off (well, in locker rooms at least). Except after water aerobics - then it is naked old lady central!

Pharmie said...

Hilarious! And the followup comments totally made my afternoon. Our locker room is plagued by senior citizens coming out of the water aerobics classes, naked and wrinkley.

Curly Su said...

correction: the towel adds exactly 1 pound. i know. i drop mine. :)

he does need to take off the chains though...and preferably drape them over his dropped towel. how's that for a sexy image?