MoFo

Yep, that's the run course for Ironman St. George. How about a side of hills to go with your supersize bucket of hills.

But Supalids, a/k/a Mrs. Wilson, and I have made a pact. Not one more word of self-pity about the difficulty of the Ironman St. George course. We have the best group of online and real life friends, and we are going to motivate each other to kick this race's arse. I feel a little bit like Samuel L. Jackson when he says "the Line" and gets down to business: “I've had it with these mother [bleeping] [hills] in this mother [bleeping] race!”

FINE!

If I have to be a freaking goat, I'll become a freaking goat. A skinny whelp like me ought not be afraid of elevation gain. When I started this nonsense I couldn't even swim for goodness' sake.

And this is Ironman, after all. If you want to avoid some toil, go do a fun run or a charity ride. It's time to HTFU. Dream big or go home. Live on the edge or you're taking up too much space.

FINE!

No more self-pity allowed.

I TRIPLE Dog Dare You!

Naw, he ain't gonna do it. He's chicken.

I ain't chicken. I just don't need to be sticking my tongue to no pump handle, or signing up for an Ironman five months after just doing one.

See, I told you he won't. He's chicken.

I ain't chicken. Besides, who's gonna wanna do an Ironman in Utah? I mean, sersly, Utah?

Bock bock bock. Everyone's doing it. C'mon. Don't be a baby. Just one more won't hurt you.

I ain't a baby. I just don' wanna.

Are so a baby. Who care's what mom says? Are you gonna go home and cry? Is baby gonna cry?????

I'm not a baby.

CRY, BABY, CRYYYYYYY---

Are you kidding? Sign up for another stupid Ironman? That's dumb!

That's 'cause you know it'll hurt!

You're full of it!

Oh yeah?

Yeah!

Well I double-DOG-dare ya!

NOW it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a "triple dare you"? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare.

I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya!

Supalinds (a/k/a "Mrs. Wilson") created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat!

Better just call the fire department now, because it is done. I'm in.