Thursday, September 03, 2009

Old School

This weekend is the Avia Austin Triathlon, an olympic distance race Coach Kris and I put on the schedule to keep me from getting sluggish and to get some practice "racing" (air quotes here) in the run up to Ironman Cozumel.

According the Austin peeps, it has been hot as balls all summer and they've had essentially no rain. According to the race organizer, this means that the Lady Bird Lake, the swim venue, is too warm to be wetsuit legal--i.e., roughly like swimming in your bath tub with a few hundred friends trying to beat you to death.

Of course, why you'd have a few hundred people in your bath tub trying to beat you to death, I wouldn't know. That's your business and I don't judge.

Well, that's perfect practice for Ironman Cozumel, which is also not wetsuit legal, but it also raises additional questions. I've lately shunned my square leg swimsuits and jammers in favor of the trusty, black Speedo briefs for my swim workouts. My belt is cinched one loop tighter. My skinny suit tapers nicely to the waist and is taut across the shoulders. I have ribs. I have some abs (at least a four pack). I even have that intriguing little crease that runs from the outside of the hip bones, tracing its erotic course . . . down . . . . to the . . . . well . . . just think Abercrombie & Fitch underwear model and that's TOTALLY what I look like, m'kay?

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

So, with no wetsuit involved, do I go old school with an homage to Ironman Dave Scott by rocking the Speedo on the race course? And maybe throw in some ginourmous sunglasses and dayglow gear and a Bud Light visor too?

Alas, that would risk Dave Scott old school looking a bit too much like Will Ferrell's Old School. SCS Multisport and Coach Kris, apparently believing that there's no such thing as bad publicity, have encouraged me to wear their gear. (I wonder what message this sends when a bedraggled looking athlete limps to the finish with a website URL on his kit?)

So, instead of potentially causing a riot with the Speedo briefs, this is what I'll be wearing the one piece tri suit pictured below:



Look for me and give some encouragement out there. I'll be the one at the back of my swim wave trying to make up at least a little time on the bike and run.

8 comments:

Carrie said...

Perhaps you've heard of Leslie--Austin's infamous cross dressing homeless guy...Or, maybe you've heard of the guy who rides his bike around town with nothing but a red thong. Do you really think I triathlete in a speedo would make Austinites blink??? You'd have to race naked to get something more than a yawn in these parts!! (yes, that's a bit of a challenge)

Richard said...

Yeah - although to be honest a fit Speedo racer would be a pleasant change. You could still have the club branding on it... I guess...

Just make it a dark one, mmmkay?

Wendy said...

Really, I'd like to see the Homage To Scott. Just sayin'!

Kim said...

"Look for me and give some encouragement out there. I'll be the one at the back of my swim wave trying to make up at least a little time on the bike and run."

friend - i cant cheer from you when im still like 1.2 miles BEHIND you on the swim!

sweet tri-suit! just make sure you it's not super light gray, you dont want any lingering doo doo to be seen on your behind ;)

Fe-lady said...

I'm all for "old" guys going "old school"-
and I want the A&F pictures. Cause I am an old lady.

Best of luck with the race!

21stCenturyMom said...

"do I go old school with an homage to Ironman Dave Scott by rocking the Speedo on the race course? And maybe throw in some ginourmous sunglasses and dayglow gear and a Bud Light visor too?" Well duh!

I'm a little disappointed that Coach Kris talked you into a $96 tri-suit on his behalf. I hope he gave you that thing gratis because you're doing him a favor and robbing the rest of the world of a moment of sheer pleasure seeing you rock the speedo.

Coach Liz said...

At first I thought "NO!!!!", but then the whole comic package of the Bud Light visor and the dayglow gear would be fantastic for Austin. Keep it Weird!

greyhound said...

The "package" is exactly why I'll not be going Speedo in the race. Those of us at the back of the wave like not to call attention to ourselves.