The Calm

I have been trying for a while now to figure out what to write, this night before Ironman. Everything profound seems maudlin when I try to put it in print. Everything not profound seems out of place or not up to the task.

There are concerns in my mind about how the day will go, but I don't feel anything I could identify as fear. I have faith that I can do this again, but not certainty. If you asked me why I do it, I'm not sure I could tell you. Sometimes, it is only because I can. Sometimes, it is to feel fully alive--risking something I could very well fail at so that I can know that I truly lived that single day.

Sometimes, I'm not really sure what I feel. Sometimes, its nothing.

But I can tell you what I am looking forward to feeling. I am looking forward to riding my bike through some beautiful countryside in 70 degree weather. I am looking forward to the feeling of making the final turn at the turnaround and knowing that the finish line is getting nearer with every step. I am looking forward to the feeling of running down Sherman Avenue and seeing the finish line.

But you know, for me, this is not about finish lines. It is more about milestones. The journey does not end here. I'm more interested in where it might go next. The road goes ever on and on.

"... it's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door...you step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet,there's not knowing where you might be swept off to."