Thursday, November 01, 2007

That's Just Wrong

1. An elementary aged kid whose parents have permitted him or her to slide into obesity.

2. Elementary aged, obese kids begging for candy.

3. Answering the door and giving obese kids candy.

4. Trick-or-treating over the age of 14.

5. Parents who allow their 14+ year old girls to trick-or-treat in low-cut/short skirt costumes intended for adult (REALLY ADULT) parties.

6. Giving candy to a 15-year-old Naughty Nurse in fishnet stockings. (I kid you not. Very disturbing).

7. Giving candy to a 15-year-old French Maid in heels. (Again, very disturbing).

8. Turning trick-or-treating into a mechanized infantry assault by carting around the Naughty Nurse, the French Maid, several of their naughty friends and about a dozen younger children in the back of a pickup truck towing a trailer for more passengers. (Yo, dad. Do you think the 15 year old pimp and axe murdere and football player you are carrying around are interested in actually befriending your daughter, or perhaps are they more into the lady lumps? hmm? ya think?)

9. Eating nerds . . . again and again and again.

10. Waking from a sugar coma and trying to swim.

Maybe I can wash these images out of my head with a good sharp run this afternoon.


Kim said...

it is scary how teens dress more and more provacatively and how their parents let them get away with it! the worst are the teen girls who dress in tight/low-cut/low-waisted/belly shirts with the chub hanging out.

Jane said...

Why are 15 year olds trick or treating? That would seem to be uncoolest thing to do - I mean aren't you in high school at that age?

Bolder said...


i was wondering if it was JUST me.

good post.

i actually volunteered last night, at a function, to handing out candy, and i actually said to myself:


i mean, even 20/30 somethin' women, it just seems that no one wants to dress up like something to have fun in, it's all become just highly sexually charged.

21stCenturyMom said...

Welcome to feminist backlash in which we convince girls that the cool thing to do is look like a 'ho. It's the 21stCentury way to remind them they are only good for one thing. ugh.

Last night was the first time in years that no teens showed up at my door. No fat kids, either. It was very nice.

I, too wonder how parents just let their kids get so fat. Not chubby - chubby can be normal but the obesity is just mind boggling.

Allez said...

Since when did halloween turn into a big skank-fest for the kids?

Amy said...

I didn't see many kids as I live downtown in a condo. Though after reading this maybe they were younger then I thought they were based on they're costumes. And here I thought that the "Slutty (insert whatever basic costume you like here i.e angel, nurse, maid, pumpkin)" costume epidemic was a 18+ year old thing. What are the parents thinking? In my day we had to wear a snowsuit under our costumes so they really weren't that skanky... hey I grew up in Southern Ontario where is would sometimes snow on Halloween. And the obesity thing is just scary... it's like walking through the food court at the mail and seeing them eat fries that their parents bought them.

Liam O'Connell said...


you missed one

11. driving a car behind your kids trick or treating. holy crap, america is so flappin lazy. fat parents want to drive around pretending to spend time with their kids before they plant their hippo asses back on the couch and steal their kids candy. dude - walk around the block with your kids. childhood obesity is abuse!

Andra Sue said...

Yikes. I'm happy to say I opted out of encouraging the slutty fatness that has become Halloween this year. Went for a run and came home to make sure the porch lights stayed off. Didn't see one rugrat all evening! Yay me!

GeekGirl the Iron said...

I agree with everything. Just some food for thought, since you have a daughter...most of the time, they change AFTER they leave the house. (I did) and mom and dad dont' even realize what they're wearing.

Lance Notstrong said...

Soooooooo glad my daughter never wants to dress that way......

CoachLiz said...

I am glad I have a son. I am glad that Party City ran out of the Metal Skull Biker costume. I am glad that kids still want to dress up as Spider Man, Super Man, Cowboy, Army Ranger, Pirate, or a Star Wars character.

However, I was pretty stunned and shocked to see the 12 or 13 year old girl in the "I'm a Hoochy Candy Corn Witch" outfit with thigh-high striped stockings with bows at the top and a mini dress that still managed to show leg between the top of the thigh-highs and the bottom of the mini-dress.

Dang! I dressed up in my old Girl Scout uniform for chuckles and I thought that the A-line jumper was a little short hitting me at mid thigh.

Crazy thing is...I can still fit into my old GS uniform!

Hooray for multi-sport training!!!

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

when I took the girls shopping for costumes, i took them to that place that I now hate with a white hot burning passion: Spirit. I found that it was replete with "sexy" costumes - none of which did I find sexy (what's so sexy about a poorly sewn and bad-fitting polyester see-thru costume that is overpriced by about $40?).

Not only that, but I could find no Pippi Longstocking costume.

So wrong.

thankfully, I dragged around a small pink princess and a mermaid this year. Please let that continue for a long time...

No Wetsuit Girl said...

I always wondered why people would put razor blades in candy. I'm starting to understand. My mom's trying to gain a reputation to get more trick or treaters. This year she tried full-sized candy bars. Next year I'll encourage her to have a basketfull of nips.

I had a candy hangover too. NOT pretty! Hope you recovered fully by the time your run rolled around.

MisheleK said...

ew ew ew! I love(d) Halloween for the full-sized candy bars, the 3 hour interval workout, the ridiculous clothes and bad movies. There's no place for that anymore what with all the skanky skanks skanking around. Sigh.

Confession: 9 days short of my 15th birthday I trick-or-treated and earned myself 12 pounds of candy and lots of eye rolls. Both my candy and running loves came early to me.

Tri-Dummy said...

Who in the H.E. double hockey sticks lets their kids outside in a french maid costume?

Or any SEXY costume for that matter.

You're a lawyer, we need to figure some sort of parenting licensing laws or compliance unit...or something.

Fe-lady said...

catching everyone else said it all for me. Thanks. Now I don't have to write it! (And I agree with all you guys and gals...that's why I love the tri-bloggers community. We SO think alike!)

monica said...

double crime: letting your kids get fat and then letting them wear provocative clothing that is neither flattering nor appropriate on halloween or any day for that matter.

there's nothing more disturbing than a 12 year old girl muffin' toppin' over her low rise jeans that also display her ass crack. and can we talk about the boys too??? um, hello?? i don't need to see your drawls all hanging out from above your waistband!!! parents, but your sons pants that fit and a belt to keep 'em up!!!

and you know your a triathlete when all you have to hand out on halloween are powerbars!!!

HOKIEX said...

My little ones were Lilo and Stitch this year. I wonder how long I can keep them as Disney Characters or Superheroes?

I did see my share of 10-12 year old girls dressed like ho's. My wife and I could not believe it. Totally inappropriate.