1. An elementary aged kid whose parents have permitted him or her to slide into obesity.
2. Elementary aged, obese kids begging for candy.
3. Answering the door and giving obese kids candy.
4. Trick-or-treating over the age of 14.
5. Parents who allow their 14+ year old girls to trick-or-treat in low-cut/short skirt costumes intended for adult (REALLY ADULT) parties.
6. Giving candy to a 15-year-old Naughty Nurse in fishnet stockings. (I kid you not. Very disturbing).
7. Giving candy to a 15-year-old French Maid in heels. (Again, very disturbing).
8. Turning trick-or-treating into a mechanized infantry assault by carting around the Naughty Nurse, the French Maid, several of their naughty friends and about a dozen younger children in the back of a pickup truck towing a trailer for more passengers. (Yo, dad. Do you think the 15 year old pimp and axe murdere and football player you are carrying around are interested in actually befriending your daughter, or perhaps are they more into the lady lumps? hmm? ya think?)
9. Eating nerds . . . again and again and again.
10. Waking from a sugar coma and trying to swim.
Maybe I can wash these images out of my head with a good sharp run this afternoon.